UNEXPURGATED TRANSCRIPT FROM AN ATTEMPTED FUND RAISING INTERACTION OVER G-TALK
me: pssstttt...pssssstttttt...lend me a $100 grand, will ya
Sent at 12:22 AM on Thursday
me: psssst,....hw abt atleast $50 grand? When i come onto the Forbes list, I promise that I will make a passing mention of your help...seriously....
me: no reply?...Well...if thats a bit on the higher side,you cud always condescend to sponsoring my flight tickets...I promise to tattoo the fact on my biceps...what say u? just my flite tickets...and enough dough for a mini teeny weeny Macbook...
me:pssssssssssttttt...are u there? to make it easier u can just think u accidentally lost ur purse....or a hacker cracked ur bank account and made off with the moolah...
just to comfort urself...meanwhile you can depend on my eternal gratitude which will include postcards, the annual diwali wishes...and even the occassional comment on ur blog...deadly deal,huh?
(loud thump noise)
me: Ah! u fell off the chair,right...never thought I would offer this to you-thats ok...get back on....after all what are friends for...if that colleague of yours, that Armenian babe wants to join in on the deal, she can...she will get my triceps...for say the 1st semester tuition sponsor...
(loud thump noise again)
me: oh no...she too fell off,didnt she? now help her back on the chair...on 2nd thoughts, both of u rather sit on the floor...just remember that my abs and pecs come at a premium...of around 20-25% I also offer package deals on my lower body...
(loud thumping noises all around again)
me: Shit...tell ur office folks not to do that - Yes, my muskils are impressive but this falling all over the place...they might upset the building dynamics...tell them that if everyone in China jumped at the same time the earth will slip out of its axis...its true...since they are down anyway, i suggest u take a signature campaign for me...a standing instruction form from everyones bank account...
me: not to worry...for ur effort, u will get a share of the collected funds...i told u the deals sweet,right! u will get exactly 0.5%...is that ok...
(a now repetitive thump)
me: hey u cant keep falling off ur chair...relax...after all we go back a long time, right...now get busy collecting signatures...as for your smart boss-lady, tell her I can make her an offer she can't refuse...if she sponsors my summer internship across Europe, she gets a tattoo in an absolutely secret spot on the body magnifique!...stop all those "ooohs" now...this is serious business.
Old "friend"(whos just returned to her comp): You @%$#$#&*%$$*%#$#$%@!$#$%@!$#$%@!!!!!
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2 comments:
Ganja actually makes turtle stoner. It poke head in and out of shell for smoke. Tried and tested. Not by me, though.
Good 2 Know that the Non Math guys are also gettin up there with the rest - So where r u now piled under Assignments in GSB ?
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